Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?
Originally published on 1-3-13
This blog's mission statement is, discovering our authentic selves while remaining kind, one day at a time. Well over the past few months I discovered a few more things about myself and about my life. I’ve discovered I’m quite peaceful if I stay close to God (there isn’t too much grey area on God’s path), I’ve discovered that when I let people’s mistakes rest, including my own, it eliminates significant amounts of angst and I’ve discovered that deep romantic love exists.
So many of my posts are about my struggles, my valleys, mostly because each low moment is what propels me to the next peak. After all, I have always learned best by walking through the fire.
I tend not to write about the great moments because I have never wanted to come across as braggadocios and also because I was scared the great moment may not last. I was scared to say via blog especially, “here I am world, look at me and all my happiness, I found the love of my life and life is grand!” We all know what happened to Carrie Bradshaw. You see for me, writing about my low points is much easier than writing about my high points. If I tell you I used to wet the bed all the time, I’m Sarah Silverman. If I tell you how great my life is and then the rug gets pulled out from under me, I’m Jennifer Aniston pre Justin Theroux. Will love ever find her? Lifetime movie at 8pm.
But, here it goes.
Ms. never settle, take no prisoners, never let someone control you, do what inspires you, keep inching forward (me) found real love. Maybe not the kind of love you have dreamed of, but most definitely the kind of love I have dreamed of.
Our first date was fun, and after the second date I wanted a third date, and by the third date I was ready to retire my VIP singles membership card. All of a sudden points that I had always fought tooth and nail for just melted away. There was no need to stand my ground on who I would or would not be friends with, what I would or would not wear or what political party I would belong to. We didn’t ever have to have a conversation about what either of us would deem as acceptable behavior. The first 227 “getting to know you” questions were answered by observing his actions. By God’s grace, there was an immediate ease, and before I knew it, I had given my heart away.
Ladies….the amazing part is, I didn’t settle. I’m the sign you’ve been waiting for – don’t give up hope! He’s everything I have ever wanted. He is kind and brilliant and fun and is incredibly good to me and people. I am proud of him. I am proud that I am with someone who walks through the world with the greatest combination of strength and wonder and love. The world is a better place with him in it. And I am proud and grateful that that kind of person chose me.
So for the past five months I have been loving him, our dogs, enjoying pockets time reading the morning papers, traveling, making sure the house is tidy (not because he asks, but because I feel like it makes a more peaceful space for us when we’re home) and planning a future and family.
These are pretty big statements, I realize. Even so, I don’t want to couch them with caution. I want to declare them. I get choked up thinking about what a beautiful year it’s been. I’m not sure what the secret sauce is, but I think it is God and giving. I couldn’t ask for anything more, so I don’t. I just say…thank you.
Here’s to all the wonderful things we’ll discover about the world and ourselves in 2013.