Are you Faking It?
Originally published on 2-16-11
Ok, I’ve faked it.
Meg Ryan Clip.
Along the way I’ve tried to fake a glossed over version of myself and my life.
At my dear friend Laura’s wedding, putting on a happy face although my mental and emotional state was unstable at best. My life was a hot mess, if you will.
“You look pretty in your fancy dress, but I detect unhappiness.” –The Raconteurs
We can all fake our way through life; it’s easy, it just takes a little acting and some good booze to numb ourselves. However, it’s NOT easy to be introspective and grow into the best version of yourself; at times the process is actually quite difficult.
Every day I say two prayers. The first is thanking (my) God for the opportunity of the day; the second is for the courage to be honest with myself and everyone else. As time passes I become less concerned with faking it and more concerned with being truthful about who I really am, and who I want to become.
These days, I’d much rather be honest and open about my opinions and the goings on in my life. I don’t live in fear that any part of my life to be brought to light. I breathe easy knowing that I do the best that I know how. We all do.
Are you faking, are you a façade? Are you putting on a front simply for other people’s approval? Are you scared that people may find out: you’re on anti-anxiety medication, that even though you wear a Rolex you’re in debt up to your eye balls, that you don’t care how cows die—a good steak is a good steak, you maxed out your credit card to buy that new Louis, you pay $90 a session for therapy, you’re an alcoholic, that you ate a donut out of the trash can—because you just couldn’t resist, or that you really do just want to be a housewife? Ego will motivate you to try keep up a glossed over version, as to beat out your competition, but that’s an energy draining road that leads nowhere. (I’ve been down the road, been all consumed with winning, rationalizing my way into feeling superior, it’s exhausting and ridiculous and futile). Take a deep breath, and don’t be afraid to be honest about who you really are.
Lead an examined life. Don’t blindly walk through life being guided by cookie cutter images of who you other people think you should be. Seek your truth, that’s where the good stuff is. Don’t fake your way through life, I assure you, the real thing is much for gratifying.