I am a speaker, author + confidence cultivator. I have a heart for teaching women how to walk through life with confidence and joy.

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The Courage to Become


Divine Detours

Divine Detours

Originally published on 10-15-13

So you had your life planned out did you? You thought you knew exactly where you were going to be at 28. You thought that by 28 you’d have your school loans paid off, you’d live in a 3 bedroom house that you’d decorate depending on the season, Halloween! Or maybe you thought you’d be CEO of Google and live in an ultra-modern town home and wave at it while you drove away in your slick red Porsche. Or maybe you thought that you’d be traveling the world, living immersed in other cultures with nothing more than the contents of your luggage to your name.

I just knew that by 28 I’d be married to some great guy that I could attend cocktail parties with while our nanny babysat our 2.6 children. Turns out, I was off. Turns out that I’m 30 ¼ and do not have children yet. I did however land the great guy! Also turns out that being a great guy and liking to mingle at cocktail parties are mutually exclusive. I also thought I’d be some power house corporate executive. My brothers always said they pictured me with both baby and briefcase in tote.

Maybe you didn’t think you’d still be paying rent.  Maybe you didn’t think you’d be working for tips this far in the game. Maybe you didn’t think that the guy you shared so much with would just get up and leave. Maybe you didn’t think that you’d be working 100 hours a week for an investment firm. Maybe you didn’t think that you’d be divorced. Maybe you didn’t think that your folks would turn ill and you’d have to spend a lot of your time caring them. Maybe you didn’t think you’d be 200,000 in debt. Maybe you didn’t think that you’d be dating guy after guy after guy, hoping for the right one to come along. Maybe you didn’t think that someone would tell you that the pain you’ve been feeling turns out to be cancer.

Most times, the universe takes us on different journeys that we have planned for ourselves.  We are set on different journeys for a few reasons. First we are set on a different journey because of our decision making skills and second because of God’s will. God makes decisions based on the entire length of our lives. He ( the universe, the powers that be, what have you) make put things into play that will prepare us for things down the road. Everything that is happening in our lives is happening for a reason.

I have found that every time life throws me a curve ball and hits me square in the face, I turn out better. I can say that every single time I have been faced with heavy grief, the sun continued to rise and I grew from the experience.

So, when I was younger I would say, “I want to be married.” My words said one thing and my actions said another. I was in no place to a good life long partner to someone, I had no concept of what that actually entailed. I knew I wanted a house and a husband and I knew that I wanted to decorate the house but I did not have any clue as to the gravity of the situation. I just didn’t. A combination of my actions and God’s will took me out of that possibility.

Often times when we want something so bad we start to force things, it helps to consider that the detour is in your favor. The detour from what you want the most is in your favor. God is saving you from the situation. You want “it” so badly that you don’t even know you’re not ready for it, or that it’s not for you. God may be moving you onto another path where you won’t have to fight so many obstacles. Maybe the road you want to go down in riddled with difficulties, conflict and obstacles. There are things that God has not given you because you are not ready. God is looking out for your best interest when he puts you on a detour.

Delayed gratification is equal to faith. Faith that what is meant to be will be. Don’t be envious of other people, they had to go on some detours too. 

Let the wind be still, let your fears cease. Be still. Give God praise for both answered and unanswered prayers.

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