Listen to Ferris
Originally published 9-1-11
When I started this blog I had a lot of emotions to sift through, a lot of opinions I wanted to establish, I wanted to decided what I thought and why I thought it. Before I started writing I had so much noise in my head and in my heart. Who was I supposed to be? To most, I appeared peaceful and functioning, but I was restless trying to get my footing. I was making the first strides at trying to become the person I wanted to be.
I had so many thoughts and ideas, and they spilled over onto post-its, note pads, and journals. I was writing in my car, sitting at my desk, in line at the grocery store and before I went to sleep at night.
Some of those writings have been posted yet a lot of them haven’t been. I haven’t been as quick to post the most raw materials.
It’s nine months later and I still have post-its, journals, pieces of scrap paper tucked in everywhere and use them every time I come across a powerful sentiment, i.e. “ You are stronger than temptation,” or “I don’t want to be the kind of person who is noble in thought and not in action.”
And even though I collect thoughts and write unpublished pieces, for the last 3 months I have just let myself be. I had been schlepping up the side of the mountain for so long: reading, therapy, writing, community service, and prayer, I took some time to stop, be still and enjoy the view for a moment.
In the last three months I have not read a self help book, but I have enjoyed all the blessings, amazing people and opportunities that have presented themselves in my life.
Remember that thankful journal that I urged you to start? I still write in mine every night. (We just had our three year anniversary.)
Thursday November 11th, 2010:
Day that Dad had a heart attack. We were the only two in the room when the doctor told him the news.
· Making the decision to stay (I was scheduled for a trip to NYC that same morning)
· Dad being alive
· Good talks with Dad alone
· Familial love, support and guidance
· The comfort and joy my friends give me
Monday March 14th 2011:
Family vacay (all 5 of us) to NYC!
· Walking the Brooklyn Bridge
· Dad finding a cane
· Good lunch in china town
· Riding the subway ( I totally loved it)
· Good hair days
Lately when people ask me how my life is going, I say, “I couldn’t be better!” And they respond with a tone of disbelief, “No, seriously?” And I say,“ Ya, seriously!”
I can’t say thank you to the universe enough.
Reasons why I am thanking the universe: I have 2 jobs that I love, I still contribute to my family’s business and I may as well be part of a second family business because I love my boss/mentorso much I’d give him my kidney (I am 1 in an army of people who would do the same), I have a great family, phenomenal friends, drink great wine, Beau is healthy, Charles is healthy, I connect with people, laugh with people and hug people every day, what more could I ask for?! Well…I could ask to be back to my college weight …but we’ll save that for another blog.
It’s not that I’ve stopped observing or trying to soak up all the good nuggets I can, or that I have stopped closing the gap between who I am and who I ultimately want to be, but I have taken the time to: enjoy the perfect shade of pink in this season’s peonies, look through photo albums a little more, tell my traveling brother that I miss him, smile a little more, and hug a little tighter (my mother is no doubt exuberant).
I believe that working hard and improving one’s self is paramount, however Ferris Bueller said it best, “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”