Originally published on 11-20-13
In May 2011 when I unpacked my bags in Austin I had all sorts of questions about how my life would unfold. Will I find love or won’t I? Who will I be? Should I really be pursuing Anna?
I had been living in McAllen and had a pretty good life by anyone’s standards. My life was fun, flexible, but I had hit a plateau and I knew it was time to push a little bit more. I moved for work but then end goal was to continue growing into myself, to start a new chapter. I wanted a wider space to spread my wines and really challenge myself.
The move would afford me a blank canvas. I could choose what to wear, what to do on my days off, who to hang out with, which CVS I wanted to go. Or did I want to go to CVS at all? Maybe I was a Walgreens kind of girl. The sky was the limit. My move would mean I’d have to learn how to rent tools from Home Depot, drive a UHAUL, and put up 6 foot mirrors all by my lonesome. One time as I stood on my couch to get more height I jerry-rigged a 50 lb. mirror on the wall while balancing in on my right shoulder for leverage, and just stared at it. I thought, this is going to fall, this is going to fall, but it never did. Success!
Well, my lease is coming to an end and it’s time to move all my things out.
A few days ago I started the packing process. Bathroom… that will be the easiest. I was excited to have time alone with….my stuff. As I looked around it hit me that this is the last time it will ever be only my stuff. There are objects and mementos that I have carried around for years if not decades because they mean something to me. They remind me of a meaningful time, or of a person, or of an idea.
For example, I carry around a beaten up ‘frog prince’ for example, that is really a sewing pin cushion. I’ve had it 20 ears and every time I looked at it I thought, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you you’re your prince. I revisited pictures, clothes and birthday cards. I loved every one of them.
Moving and packing is cathartic in that you get to say, I definitely do want this as part of my life or thanks for the good times, but this is where we part ways. In our homes how often do we make it a point to surround ourselves in colors and memories and objects that we want? Not often enough. When deciding what to keep and what to give away I ask myself, do I want this to be part of our new home, part of our life together? What are the good choices here? It really forces a conscious decision making tree. For hours, memories came flooding back. Oh I wore this to karaoke on Tuesday nights, or my Grandma gave this to me, or when coming across certain sweaters, Good night! What was I thinking?
It was cool if not nothing, to see how far I have come in a few years’ time and how different my life is. The difference between May 2011 and November 2013 is great.
In May 2011 I worked at Holiday and ACL. I was mama to Beau my dog and Charles my cat. I drove an old white Tahoe, I was single, a 2%er at church, I sporadically wrote Anna and wasn’t into cool things like Tough Mudder. Today I have two jobs. I am mama to Beau our black lab mix and Mischa our white lab. I drive a new Tahoe that I proudly bought and paid for. I am a wife, I attend church regularly, I work on Anna every day, am starting a cool boot camp tomorrow and am getting ready for a move to Houston.
When I moved here I was restless and I wasn’t sure of much, but God knew what the next few years had in store for me. Time seemed like it was moving at a glacial pace. I felt like I was never going to get “there.” Little did I know, I was already “there.” Life takes us on these journeys both good and bad, both happy and sad. In each nook and cranny there is something to be observed and something to be learned. If we are mindful, faithful, hopeful and grateful, each stage, each moment in our lives will present itself as a gift. Let’s enjoy right where we are instead of forcing the situation to be something else. What peaceful hearts we will all have when we walk around secure in that our lives are unfolding just as they should be.