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Passionate Relationship

Passionate Relationship

Originally published on 12-18-10

Jaded during the holiday season? You know it.  

Q: Does Santa Claus exist? 

A: It depends on who you ask. 

Q: Can passion AND practicality coexist within the structure of a romantic relationship? 

A: It depends on who you ask.

Santa Claus is a lovely thought, a great idea to celebrate, a positive message, great in theory, but still, an illusion. What if the package of passion AND practicality has been sold and marketed to us -- in the same way that Santa is sold and marketed to 8 year olds? I am not convinced that passion and practicality exist simultaneously. 

I’ve had very practical relationships where the pieces made sense: we were from the same geographical location, shared the same religion, each of our families approved, we went to the same university, but lacked passion. And passionate relationships where: we were each other’s first thoughts in the morning, we were all consumed, we couldn’t get enough, there would never be enough time in a lifetime, we were each other’s last thought before we closed our eyes at night kind of love,  but practicality was lacking.

Passion or practicality. Is it possible to have a partner that will help you clean the house on a Saturday, AND that will give you butterflies when he enters the room?  Do we have to choose one or the other?  Is pondering this question a function of age, becoming realistic, or just becoming more cynical?  Is it settling or just getting smarter about your options? 

Are we fooling ourselves by waiting?  Should we just resolve that passionate AND practical love is a phenomenon?  Would we be better served to set that expectation aside? 

For now, I’ll hold out for the illusion, but I’m not exactly sure that it exists. 

New commentary:

Guys, I love that I was so bold. I love that I was curious. I love that I put it all out there. For those of you wondering if you can find both in a relationship, the answer is yes. A RESOUNDING YES. Three years after I originally wrote this blog, I met and fell in love with my husband (not before dating a string of bad choices!) , then we married and had two beautiful daughters. 

Do we talk about poop? Everyday. Do we do the dishes? Yes. Do we open the mail? You bet ya. Do we kiss? Everyday. Does he give me butterflies when I see him across a crowded room? Every time. 

Passion and practicality can exist in the same relationship. Rejoice !

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