Catia Hernandez Holm Speaker Author The Courage to Become TEDx.jpg
Trust the Timing of Your Life

I have professed that I wanted a lot of things. I have said I wanted: love, marriage, children, a big career, to travel, financial success, good girlfriends, a deeper relationship with God, courage, independence and even as I write this, anonymity.

Some things have come without toil and strife and some things were rather difficult and took planning and goal setting. Some of things I have wanted have come and gone and some things have not come at all. Some things I have wanted so much that I have prayed for them long and hard, often with no immediate answer from the big guy above.

“God, please send me a nice guy. All I want is a nice guy! Why isn’t God listening?!”

 “God, seriously, what is the hold up?! Since no one upstairs is listening to my prayers, I will make it happen.”

A classic example of me taking matters into my own hands is trying to make people I’m clearly incompatible with, my boyfriends.  Let’s take, ‘Bob’ for example. “Bob, do you like me? I like you! Do you think I look pretty today? Why haven’t you called? Want to go with me to the basketball game? I’m really not that interested in you, I just want to be friends!” 

My words to Bob reeked of desperation and I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I’m sure he could smell it from a mile away. My words and my actions were over the top.

The funny thing was that I didn’t even really like Bob, but I really wanted a BOYFRIEND, so I pushed it. When I have wanted something so badly that I have forced a situation, it always went awry.

It was just a matter of time before the ticking time bomb exploded. I think it was the universe’s way of saying, “Young lady, I said NO.  Now, we’re going to have to do this the hard way.”  But I continued to push and push and push.

I forced the issue at every turn and the poor guy had to take me to dinner to tell me he wasn’t that interested. My inner voice told me that the situation was never quite right and I just tuned it out. In the plain light of a sushi restaurant he said, “You’re a nice girl but….” I was embarrassed for both of us. What was I doing? I had to regroup.

Eventually I started entertaining the possibility that the reason my prayers had not been answered was because, I was not ready to honor a nice guy in my life.

I started to think it was in the realm of possibilities that I wanted a nice guy in my life but a nice guy was not coming across my path because God knew that I wouldn’t know how to handle it. 

I resigned that the universe was telling me I had work to do on myself before I would be a good partner for someone. Obviously it wasn’t quite time for me to land a nice guy to take home to Mom, but it was time for me to fill my life with other great things like paddle boarding on the lake, Boyz II Men karaoke and girls night out.

It is my belief that God makes a decisions for our life based on time continuum of eternity, while we as individuals make decisions for our life based on what we see 10 days in front of us.

God is sending people and circumstances our way that are preparing us for what lies ahead.

When I am having an emotional day and I call every girlfriend I have to vent and no one answers the phone, instead of being frustrated with their work schedules, I chalk it up to God wanting me to learn how to cope on my own. God is doing more than answering or ignoring my prayers, he is sculpting me.

Be still and be comfortable with who you are and what you have to offer.

We each walk a path that is unique to us.  The best life has to offer will come to each of us in its own time.

I was 29 before I found Guapo, and he was 40 before he found me. I was 26 before I found great girlfriends.  I was 30 before I got married, and I was 28 before made enough money to have a real grown up savings account.

So what if everyone around us is having sexy destination weddings, and having children in litters? So what if their life seems picture perfect? So what if they just upgraded the lease on their car? So what if they just got a job promotion and we didn’t? Let’s be happy for them AND for us. 

We have got to be okay with where we are and what we have. 

Their path is perfect for them and your path is perfect for you, one is no better than the other. You are right where you need to be.

Maybe you wanted to finish college in 4 years, but financial aid didn’t come through and you’re thinking, “How is this possible? All I need is a little financial assistance.”  Life threw a curve ball and it sent you down a path that does not include graduating in 4 years. Is it in the realm of possibilities that the universe sent you down that other path so you could perhaps learn to appreciate education more, or learn how to manage time or money more wisely? Is it possible you will finish in 5 years, but will have gained a wealth of experience that no one can take away?  Is it possible that the detour will enable you to serve your next employer better? Is it possible you needed to muddle through the bad to appreciate the good?  Is it possible that the detour was divine? 

When you want something so badly you can taste it, remind yourself that it will all come in due time. Just because God doesn’t answer in the way you want him to, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. Know that there is a plan for your life and that it will all unfold as it should. Trust God’s timing.

When you are ready, the blessing will appear.  

Originally published on 10-13-13

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