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What is True Love

What is True Love

Originally published on 12-27-10

From 2001 through 2010, I have claimed to be in love 7 times, and may have only truly been in love once or twice.

In the moment, I was unequivocally sure of it, the feeling I felt was love.  But then, as time passed and I stepped back from the situation, I realized what I thought was love was:

·       What I thought I was supposed to be saying two months into a relationship.

·       Something I said in response to the person standing in front of me because I trusted the person and thought, “Well, if he’s feeling it, this is what I must be feeling.”

·       An overwhelming fear that my window of opportunity to be scooped up by a man was closing. And I thought to myself, “Just make it work.”

·       The fleeting pleasure of expensive dinners, exotic getaways and swanky hotel rooms.

·       My impatient nature taking over and feeling like uttering those three words would make everything move right along.

When is love, true love? Urban Dictionary’s answer is, “When you drink a liter of coke before you go to bed just so you can lie awake all night thinking about them.” Yikes! I’m not exactly sure what mine is, but I’m working on it.  As I grow and evolve, so does my definition of love.  Previously my definition was almost nonexistent, a cloudy idea at best (and since I am a sucker for Cartier propaganda, of course, it included a big shiny ring), but now my definition is much clearer. My current definition of love encompasses: kindness, respect, joy, support, physical attraction, mental stimulation, laughter and keeping your partner’s best interest at the forefront.

The 7 romantic relationships have come and gone (Easy come, easy go. Right?) , but the few true “loves” that have remained as part of my life are around because friendship was at the foundation. In my experience, the most sustaining loves have friendship at the center of it all. I don’t know much about love, but I know one thing for sure, it is paramount that both parties want the best for each other and act in such as way that reflects that.

Yep, that’s my opinion. Will my thoughts change?  I sure hope they do, I hope I’m much more evolved 10 years from now.  But I think I’m off to a good start.

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