Will I Have Kids?
Originally published on 2-26-11
Damn the red blinking light on my Blackberry. It blinks practically all day, and keeps me looking out of the corner of my eye while I’m having lunch. Well last September, I was driving, looking out of the corner of my eye, and the red notification light started to blink, although this time the message waiting on the other end required more thought than the usual email variety. The email my friend sent me read, “Do you ever want to have children?”
I was totally caught by surprise and decided to pull off the road to respond to the email. I vaguely remember my response, but the gist was, “Yes. I am not dead set on birthing a child, but I’d like to parent, whether it’s my own child, or whether the person I end up with has had children from a previous relationship, or whether I adopt, but yes, I’d like children in my life and I’d like to parent them.”
I believe that we each play different roles.
Mother, wife, friend, human.
Father, son, friend, community leader.
Daughter, professional, friend, partner.
Some people can play one role brilliantly and stink in others. Take Chris Rock, brilliant comedian, less than brilliant husband, but seemingly good father; or Charlie Sheen, good actor, less than good at keeping his personal life in order.
As it stands my roles are daughter, friend, sister and career professional. I’ve always known that while I may not be the best girlfriend or daughter; I am really good at working (in whichever way it presents itself), and if the opportunity ever presents itself, I will be an excellent mother.
Me a mother?! Try to contain your laughter. Yes, I think I will be a great mother, which I perceive as a lifelong role in which one is constantly learning and teaching. I feel most fulfilled when I am learning and teaching. From a very young age, my Dad always told me to write about what I knew, so I write about love and life and lessons, and not about the mechanics of a car or punk rock bands. “When you learn, teach, when you get, give.”-Maya Angelou.
As a mother I want to: build on everything I was taught, pass on all the amazing blessings that I have experienced in my life, nurture, teach, guide, and most importantly love.
Maybe the aforementioned won’t happen. Maybe I’ll never have children. Maybe I’ll get to keep my body sans stretch marks. Maybe in the end my writing will be my way of nurturing, teaching, guiding and loving. Maybe I’ll just be the most awesome aunt ever, time will tell.