The Secret To Dealing With Doubt | Week 25 | Confidence Revolution
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Catia,
Doubt is a very real thing. Was there any point in which the self-help books, advice and motivational messages just weren’t enough? Like, did you ever not see the end in sight? –L
L,
First off, I know of two types of doubt. There is the doubt that creates a pain in my stomach, a tightening of my chest, an uneasiness in my heart. It’s my intuition whispering to me, then talking to me, then yelling to me. DO NOT MAKE THAT DECISION. In those cases, I ALWAYS, listen to that voice. That voice is smarter than any rationale I could conjure up. Full stop.
The second kind of doubt I have experienced is fear of the unknown. Fear that I won’t be able to handle what comes my way. Fear that my life won’t unfold exactly as I have planned.
Sometimes we walk around with a ringing in our ears or a buzzing in our head, or a heaviness in our hearts telling us to make a move, but fear and doubt take over and we suppress what’s welling up inside. The only thing is, “You will never be able to escape your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say.” –Paulo Coehlo
Taking a leap requires gumption, and unfortunately there’s no real safety net. It requires us to let go of what has given us comfort or power or security—in order to open up a space for new things to unfold.
I’ll tell you a little story about learning to take a leap, even when doubt (the fearful kind) is in one’s mind.
On a bright spring day my girlfriend and I headed over to a local trapeze complex. $40 was sure to get us a good time and at the very least some good photo opps. During the instructional portion, the instructors taught us how to hook our knees around the wooden bar, how to chalk our hands and grab the bar, how to swing and eventually how to in mid swing, while we were upside down, to LET GO of the bar and reach for our catcher. “NO HESITATION. When we say ‘hands off,’ LET GO.”
I climbed up the ladder thirty feet, stayed firmly in position on the platform and eventually grabbed the bar and aired out my wet armpits. I jumped off the platform and screamed as I felt the wall on the opposite side of the building coming toward my face. I swung in the air like a pendulum and fell onto the safety net. Womp womp! I was too scared to event think about letting go!
But then, two months later I returned and I climbed the ladder again, knowing this time I was capable of reaching for the catcher.
I climbed up the ladder thirty feet, felt a little less nervous while my toes curled over the tiny wooden platform and assumed the position. Trust, I told myself. I thrust my hips forward, bent my knees, and jumped of the platform. TRUST. As I was flying through the air I heard, “hands off!” I let go, reached out with conviction, and felt two strong arms grab mine.
L, Knowledge, data, self-help books, advice … those things are wonderful and I think we should all load up on them. But then after we’ve done our best, and we’ve done all we can do, we have to let go and TRUST, that we are going to be okay. The secret to dealing with doubt is two fold. 1) We must have confidence in our own abilities and 2) We must have confidence that we are in the palm of God's hands and when we "let go," his strong arms will grab ours.
love and grace, catia
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