The Courage to Become | Angela Fry
The Courage to Become a Mother
My husband and I waited a 15 months before we actively started trying to have a baby after we were married. By month 20 I was concerned. So, after much discussion, we decided to see an infertility doctor. We most certainly weren’t getting any younger and my need, my want for a child was in overdrive.
Did I have the courage for what I knew would be an emotional process?
Painful tests, Clomid, ultrasounds, Intrauterine Insemination is how I spent that summer and fall. Nothing. Nothing, but tears, lots of money spent, and sadness. Emotionally, it was like I was drowning. We took a break and went on a cruise.
Six months later after our heads were clear, we were relaxed and very hopeful that this time treatment would be successful. We met with Dr. Michael Henry and came to the decision that In-Vitro Fertilization was my best option at getting pregnant.
So we began our IVF journey.
On August 16th I had my IVF egg retrieval. Two embryos were transferred back to me on August 21, 2012. We prayed.
Four days before I was advised to I took a pregnancy test. And it was POSITIVE!
My pregnancy was confirmed with my doctor’s office and less 2 weeks later I had my first ultrasound. After much silence, my doctor said the four words I will never forget…”I think there’s three.” I cried and my heart felt like it exploded. We were asked to come back in a week for a second ultrasound to confirm triplets!
Did I have the courage to get through this high-risk pregnancy?
By 22 weeks I was the size of full term singleton pregnancy. A few days before my next appointment I felt like I was leaking amniotic fluid.
I was admitted into the hospital to monitor Baby A overnight. An ultrasound confirmed her fluid was low and that she was much smaller than the other two. I was sent home the next day officially on bedrest.
Ten days in and I was sent by ambulance from our local hospital to St. Vincent Women's Hospital in Indianapolis. I was admitted for observation for the contractions I was having. I was sent home the next day with medication if they started again.
My husband left for a work trip to Florida and the next day I was admitted into the hospital again. At 26 weeks 4, days I was there for the rest of my pregnancy.
Did I have the courage to survive this hospital stay alone?
I was kind of happy because the babies would now be monitored daily, but I had no idea just how horrible the next month would be. An overnight stay in a hospital is doable. A week stay is worse. I was an in-patient for almost a month. I don’t wish that on anyone no matter the reason they are there.
On a snowy morning in February I stood up to go to the bathroom and thought I had peed. For some reason, I felt like I needed to let the nurse know. She rushed to get the doctor. He checked me and said “Call your husband. It looks like you’re having the babies today. What? Today? I’m only 29 weeks 5 days. Then I was scared.
That afternoon I was wheeled into the operating room for my c-section. Including myself and my husband, there was the anesthesiologist, 3 doctors, several nurses, and a neonatal nurse for each of the babies. I just laid on the table and cried.
Did I have the courage to do this?
Jase was born first. He was 2lbs 6oz and 15 inches long. He didn’t make a sound. I didn’t even get to see him. Seconds later Henley was born. At 2lbs 3oz and just over 12 inches long, she cried, but I didn’t get to see her either. Sadie Marie came last at 2lbs 2oz and 13 inches long. No sounds from her either. She was whisked away too. I cried and cried and cried.
About an hour later I was wheeled into the NICU to finally see the babies. After 76, 103, and 108 day NICU stays I brought my babies home.
It turns out I did have the courage to become the mother that I always wanted to be.
Almost 4 1/2 years later I am here, surviving and thriving with happy, healthy, crazy preschoolers. Although them being born so prematurely wasn’t ideal, God had a plan for them. I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for my sweet peas. Their lives may have begun at birth, but it was life after the NICU that we all really began living.
Angela is the mother of 4-year-old triplets Jase, Henley, and Sadie. She spends her days loving and sometimes loathing the experience of raising triplets. When she’s not chasing three preschoolers you can find her blogging and drinking an entire pot of coffee in one day.
I'm Catia, a woman, wife, mama, sister, sister friend, you know -- I wear a million hats just like you.
One of my biggest whys is that I want people to feel good about ALL of who they are. Including you.
If I could choose ten words that best describe me I would say: honest, welcoming, giving, curious, loving, earnest, empathetic, spiritual, playful, and sassy. Let's add: adventurous. That's 11.
Nice to meet you!