This is going to take some time to unpack. But it's worth it. For you. For us.

I have been in the motivation flow a long time. Officially since 2010, but really since high school. I have been encouraging people and telling them how awesome they are and pushing them to their limits for the better part of a decade.

You guys know I love to learn -- and so I read, listen and surround myself with smart people as much as I can!

One of those people is Dr. Shefali (she's one of the amazing ladies who endorsed my book.) I take an online course with she and a few other teachers titled, Luminous.

During one of our Luminous classes I heard Dr. Shefali say something akin to, "It's like we have a social contract with people. I won't shine too brightly because it will make you feel uncomfortable." And whether that premise is true or not, (maybe the other person will feel uncomfortable, and maybe they won't) we act like the premise is true.

This notion blew my mind.

And I have been thinking about it everyday since.

How can I, Catia-encourager-is-my-middle-name-Celeste-Hernandez-Holm, not be doing my best, not be shining my brightest? How could that possibly be happening? BUT IT HAS BEEN.

And over the last few weeks, I have spotted this in so many areas of my life. Nooks and crannies where I don't shine because I have entered into a social contract NOT TO.

And this social contract is all based on FEAR.

FEAR that I won't be loved if I do too well.
FEAR that "they" will think I THINK I'm better than them.
FEAR that I will show them up.
FEAR that they won't be my friend if I'm really good at something.
FEAR of not being relatable.
SO MUCH FEAR.

Even as I write this, I can feel fear breathing onto me.

My highest, best-self is guiding me tobe very careful not to couch my thoughts or my statements by saying "even though I know I am not perfect..." or "even though I struggle," or "I know I'm not the best but..." because those words bring me down a few notches, squelch my spirit just a little bit.

But my smaller self says, "hedge your bets."

One of the areas in my life where realized I wasn't shining as brightly as I could was the gym.

Before (like, any time before the last month) when I would take a group fitness class, my level of output depended on who I was standing next to.

If I was standing next to someone who was struggling through the class, I would also struggle through the class, you know...so they wouldn't feel alone.

On the other hand, if I was taking class next to someone who was very fit and really doing great in the class, it would encourage me to try harder.

I wasn't even keeping my own standard. Nonsense.

My social contract with my gym classmate was, I won't do too well so you don't feel alone.

And the gym is not the only place I do this.

Today, I won't present a solution, but rather, an invitation.

Look around your life and find the spots where you dim your light.

Is it with your family?
Does it present itself in your humor?
In the way you dress?
In your food choices?
In your language?
How do you dim your light?