Hurdle One: The Brain
So here we are. Choosing Joy.
I live in Austin, and we just went through a scary 3 weeks of bombs. And I hate to say it, but I've never been so relieved that someone died. The Austin bomber was causing fear at every turn for so many people and I was no different. I was so scared, so paranoid and it was difficult for me to function and be rational.
If you are unaware of what I'm referencing, don't bother looking it up - I am glad you are safe.
I don't know the bomber - or too much about him - and I won't speculate.
I will say a person who decides to kill people is not a person who is well or who has trained themselves to choose joy.
I'd venture to guess that this person, felt alone, isolated and he felt UNSEEN - and when we go UNSEEN for who we truly are - that creates a separation ( us vs. them) and that is when it gets so dangerous.
So here we are, choosing joy --- which may seem frivolous at times like these, but it's not - it's NECESSARY. It's almost like we need to double down.
We need to MOVE TOWARD JOY - toward big breaths, toward LIGHT. The more we move in this direction - the more we can affect change in the world.
Step 1: Our mental well-being.
On chocolate cake date night (which we talked about last week) - I was in the middle of post partum depression and didn’t know it.
I mean, a few weeks into being a mama someone asked me, “Don’t you just love her so much?” and I said, "Love her? I don’t even know her."
RED FLAG.
I was doing what I needed to do - nursing her, caring for her, all the dutiful things - but I was disconnected from her, and later I learned - disconnected from my life.
When the depression lifted, and thank God it did - I thought, OH MY.
And this realization washed over me - I had been depressed - joyless - and didn’t know it.
For months I thought, this must be what motherhood is like. GREY.
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Mental illness manifests differently for everyone - for me it was a combo of depression and anxiety - THE BEST!
In fact, I’m dealing with PPD for the second time, right now. I took my Zoloft this morning and am going to regular therapy.
Some of us come from cultures that tell us we are weak if we need therapy, that mental health isn’t a real thing.
Or that if we need therapy, we are messed up in the head. Or maybe that we can deal with it ourselves - what do therapists know anyway?
And some of us come from cultures that think mental health is real - but therapy is too expensive or not worth it. And taking medication can be controversial - especially in a place like Austin. So it's a catch 22 in some places. Thanks for making it easy, society!
We would rather live in the dark, devoid of joy - than to reach out for help - for fear of what we will be labeled or how people will think of us.
I am here to shout, there is no shame in therapy or medication - quite the opposite -there is honor in it.
1 in 5 Americans live with a mental health condition.
10 Million adults in America live with a SERIOUS mental illness!!!!!!! And only 40% those afflicted sought help.
Interestingly African Americans and Hispanics sought help at HALF the rate that whites did and Asian Americans about ⅓ of the rate.
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In my work I often ask, if embarrassment/expectations didn’t exist - how often would you ask for help? And most of the time the answer is “ALWAYS."
Well - embarrassment and expectations are MADE UP.
They are paradigms that were handed to us.
THOSE paradigms are JUNK. You have the power to CREATE YOUR OWN PARADIGM.
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE JOY.
stay tuned for next week - and keep choosing joy.
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I so want you to fly.
love and grace, catia
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